What would Sean Diener do?

PETA Campaign Coordinator Sean Diener, a devout Latter-Day Saint who grew up in Salt Lake City says,“Anyone who thinks that Jesus would approve of the way that these animals are raised and killed completely misses the gospel’s greatest message: compassion.”

Do you think that the gospel’s greatest message is compassion?

Historical Mormon Smackdown: Standard Works Edition!

Well, the last time we did this, the Book of Mormon hero wupped up on the Biblical one. It got me thinking about this, a subject destined to become this week’s smackdown!

Scriptural Mormon Smackdown: Standard Works Edition!
Not that one is, but if one was, which of these Standard Works is the most important: The Pearl of Great Price or The Old Testament?

The Pearl of Great Price is the source of all of our knowledge regarding Kolob and most of our knowledge regarding Enoch.

The Old Testament has Isaiah, Genesis, and several other LDS proof-texts.

Please vote and then comment below.

PETA billboards and Word of Wisdom

At this posting, Judah holds a very slight lead with 3 votes. Personally, I think that’s a case of the squeaky wheel getting the grease… at any rate, on to today’s topic of contenti…er discussion.

Anyone see those LDS-oriented PETA billboards a year or so ago in Utah? The ones quoting D&C 89 about eating “…meat sparingly, only in times of cold or famine”? Those actually got me thinking. We (Americans) eat meat a lot, all year long. No recent famines to my knowledge. And yet we (Mormons) seem to just completely skip over this advice in the Word of Wisdom. I’ve asked people about this, and I can barely get the question out of my mouth when they start hollering at me “D&C says vegetarianism is not from God!” Well, no, that’s not what the Lord says. He says PREACHING vegetarianism as a commandment is not from God. But in the WoW he also says it is pleasing unto him that meat not be used, only in times of cold or famine. Why doesn’t anyone (except PETA) holler about that verse? Anyway, being as it’s neither cold now nor faminous (I love inventing words) I opted for vegetarianism for the summer at least, with only minor villification from friends and church members.

So… whaddya think? Is a veggie lifestyle Satan’s secret plan to destroy us? Or do we consume way more hamburger than was ever intended?

They’re not lost, I just don’t remember where I put them…

So, moving on from Bigfoot…. I want to know, where have those Lost Ten Tribes got to? Center of the Earth? The Moon? Russia? right here among us, disguised as ordinary citizens? C’mon, let’s have it… let’s hear all those wild and wooly theories.

And by the way, exactly which tribes ARE lost, anyway? Ephraim was originally one of the Ten, but now we’re back; Levi didn’t originally count as one of the twelve, but he is technically lost. I think we know where Judah, Benjamin and the two Joseph tribes are, right? And what about Dan? why doesn’t Dan count as part of the 144,000? Is Dan lost or not, and do we want to find him? If there’s 13 tribes and only 12 apostles, does somebody get to skip the judgment? Tell me more….

Perhaps we should have a poll/smackdown:
Which tribe is most historically significant, and would win on MTV Celebrity Deathmatch?

Sasquatch and Melchizedek

Ok, since this place is dedicated to “oddments and marginalia” and other weird Mormon Legends, I have two that I’d like to hear more about:

1) I remember reading somewhere that there was a theory that Shem, son of Noah, was the same person as Melchizedek. And then I remember reading somewhere else, Mormon Doctrine possibly, that the theory was nonsense. But if I remember right, the first person was quoting Joseph Smith. Anyone else ever heard of this controversy, and could provide better sources than my rotten memory?

2) In an old copy of the Lectures on Faith, I remember seeing a quote from somebody’s journal about how they were riding on a horse, and a big 8 ft tall naked hair-covered man came up beside them, and then later on the Prophet told them they had seen Cain, son of Adam. Anyone know anything about this one? Makes no sense to me… first of all, how come Adam dies of old age, but Cain gets to hang out? And why does he look like Bigfoot? And how’d he make it through the flood?

Addendum: Ok, our intrepid commentators have informed me that I had it all backwards, the Cain story was in Miracle of Forgiveness and the Shem/Melchizedek story was in Lectures on Faith.

God v. Mammon, 2005

Didn’t Brigham Young say something to the effect that he knew the Saints could withstand mobbings and lynchings, but he was worried about the effects prosperity would have on [us]?

Well here is my question: Since leaving school and working for a few years, I’ve been able to put a little money away and now am beginning to invest it. How aware do I need to be of who gets my money? Certainly I’m not going to go out and invest in shares of Phillip Morris or Anheiser Busch or Bally’s Casinos… But what about Coca-Cola? What about companies that SELL tobacco and alcohol, like restaurants & convenience stores, What about studios that make good movies, but also make R-rated ones? What about Marriott, for Pete’s sake, which has porn available as pay-per-view in all its hotel rooms? If I invest in these companies, am I not also profitting from the vices they promote and exploit?

To take it a step further, what if I don’t bother to invest in individual stocks at all, but stick to mutual funds? Am I responsible to monitor each individual company the fund invests in? If I don’t, then in theory, my money could be used to do things I would never dream of doing in person, right?

Perhaps I’m neurotic. After all, Phillip Morris also owns “Kraft”, I could tell myself that I was investing in Velveeta instead of Marlboro. I can go to the casino just for the buffet, right, and tell myself i’m not helping finance people’s addiction to gambling. If I subscribe to HBO, but only watch the PG13 stuff, never mind that i’m also helping produce The Sopranos, right? right?

What’s a gospel-conscious investor/consumer to do?

[For the record, when I mentioned this dilemma to a member of my stake presidency, he told me not to worry about it, because you don't have enough time to investigate all the uses your money is put to, and because ANY company might be doing something immoral you don't even know about. I'm not sure I'm satisfied with that answer....]

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Philip Morris is a tobacco company that has successfully diversified, and is now a producer of well-known brands of food and beer. (Its 2000 Annual Report noted that “Fifteen of our brands generated $1 billion or more in revenues last year: Marlboro, Kraft, Basic, Miller Lite, Virginia Slims, Parliament, L&M, Oscar Mayer, Post, Philip Morris, Maxwell House, Jacobs, Philadelphia, Merit and our newest addition, the Nabisco trademark.”)

-(http://www.virginiaplaces.org/econ/philipmorris.html)

Please Welcome Rob

FPR is pleased to announce the appointment of my brother Robert to perma-blogger status. Please feel free to welcome him to the blog.

Robert is a board-certified MD in rural Missouri with too much spare time. Although his online persona thusfar may make him seem like “House,” he is really much more like “Marcus Welby” (by which, I mean, old).

In the interest of keeping all posts from becoming bitter flame wars inspired by sibling rivalry, please feel free to keep commenting (additionally, please feel free to point out that I am right).

Bloggernacle Fantasy Football

Sure, the bloggernacle is a place to discuss obscure points of doctrine and the true meaning of Zelph. It is a place where you can scratch your itch for intellectual approaches to the Gospel and fluffy testimonials. But where can you get the violence, the splendor, the glory, the gory of NFL football in the ‘nacle?

Well, right here, assuming that I get 6-10 interested nackers.

Announcing the Bloggernacle Fantasy Football league! Knock heads with Kaimi*! Drill Steve Evans* into the dirt! Watch Ryan Bell* juke Kristine Harris*! Catch a Hail Mary from Rosalynde Welch*! Get sacked by Danithew*!

Let me know if you are interested.

*actual participation by said Bloggernacle luminaries is dependent on their actually wanting to participate. Also, all afore-mentioned violence was and will remain purely metaphorical. Thank you.

Do we believe in a “timeless” church?

This post was prompted by a comment made by my brother over here. I understand that the way of God is one eternal round and that he is the same yesterday, today, and forever. But I don’t think those things mean what they seem to mean at face value. For two reasons:

1) If God is static, whence eternal progression?
2) If the Gospel is static, whence the need for continuing revelation?

Discuss.

Historical Mormon Smackdown: Scriptural Bloodletter Edition!

First, may I say that if our entirely scientific poll is any indication, then Mitt Romney will do more presidential damage than Hatch did. Mitt, the comeback kid, came from 8 votes back to win by 6.

This week’s competition is the result of a special request. As you know, here at FPR, the customer is king.

Historical Mormon Smackdown: Scriptural Bloodletter Edition
Who is the less problematic scriptural holy warrior is the LDS Canon: Capt. Moroni or Joshua, son of Nun?

Capt. Moroni: Nephite war-leader; fought invaders and internal traitors; forced said internal traitors to fight or be killed; made them hoist copies of a torn coat from their towers (how gauche!); and, finally, really, really didn’t enjoy himself in all of this.

Joshua, son of Nun: hung out with Moses and, apparently, God; enacted God’s haram, resulting in genocide in several Canaanite cities (according to the Book of Joshua, at least); and wasn’t much into the whole “shade of grey” morality viewpoint. Unfortunately, we don’t know how he felt about what he did.

So there you go, two heroes of a previous generation (okay, several generations) whom we might consider monsters nowadays. Express your defense or disgust below and vote away.